Co-Parenting with Care: From Clash to Calm
- Sam Abraham
- Jun 10
- 2 min read
When James and Leanne separated, they both promised to “do what’s best for Kai.” But promises are easy—co-parenting? Not so much.
From missed messages to mismatched rules (bedtime at Mum’s, second dinner at Dad’s), their 9-year-old quickly became the human post-it note. He packed his bag like a tiny diplomat—two toothbrushes, spare pants, and nerves of steel.
Tension flared over school shoes, holiday plans, and who exactly bought the Xbox. But the hardest part wasn’t the practical stuff—it was the emotional static between two people trying to parent through pain.
Things only started to change when James and Leanne stopped trying to win... and started trying to work together.
With patience, perspective and a lot of deep breathing, they began to shift from reactive to responsive. They created calm, built consistency, and put Kai’s emotional safety above their own power struggles.
10 Tips for Co-Parenting Without the Chaos
The child is central, not in the middle – They’re not a messenger or mediator.
Keep routines consistent across homes – Kids love knowing what to expect (and when snacks are served).
Use kind, neutral language – Even if your ex still can’t text in full sentences.
Vent somewhere safe – Friends, therapists, group chats—just not your child’s ears.
Agree on the big stuff – Sleep, school, screens. The rest? Breathe.
Talk to each other directly – Your child isn’t HR.
Allow room for difference – You do Sunday roasts, they do takeaway. It’s fine.
Show up for school events together when you can – It matters more than you think.
Model emotional maturity – Especially when you’re fuming inside.
Get support when it’s hard – Because it will be hard sometimes.
At Incredibly Elev8ed CIC, we offer the Triple P Family Transitions programme for parents navigating separation and co-parenting. It’s built to support emotional wellbeing, reduce conflict, and equip you with practical, non-judgemental strategies to raise emotionally secure children—together, apart.
Because peaceful co-parenting isn’t just possible. It’s powerful. 💛
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